The constant traveler with the unusual accent - 20 November 2005

A jetlag-free life, from American Gods to strip clubs.

Air miles

There is a certain aspect of your trip that tells you if you are a constant traveler or not: the air miles card.
If you are starting being obsessed with air miles and how to get more for less, and how many thousand miles you still need to get that first class return ticket (80.000km by the way), then you're basically fucked.

Reading in the planeYes, you might have achieved that jetlag-free superpower, but you lost the buzz of the long flights.
Because if now you are thinking that long trips are a pain in the arse, you are forgetting that time when you absolutely loved them: it was that time in your life when you were finally and completely unreachable, no phone no internet no email.

Do you remember? 7, 8 maybe 10 hours to dedicate to yourself, to happily waste it by watching one or two of even three films of the usual crap on flight channels.
Maybe you could drink yourself unconscious with the small toilet only 10 meters away.
In my case, it was always a time to write all the stories and screenplays that I always wanted to complete.

WaitUnfortunately due to the lack of a long lasting battery on my laptop, they are all pretty much uncompleted (even if my fantasy western short was conceived on a long 11 hours flight from London to L.A.)

I left London in one chilly Monday morning to get to Gatwick just in time to try to relax before the long trip.
With a copy of Arena and its special about porn industry and porn legends in one hand and, well, a free hand in the other I checked in and boarded on the Delta plane, destination Cincinnati (getting to Atlanta is trickier when you buy tickets with Expedia).

Up thereThe plane was almost empty , but the food and the film selection were really awful, balancing the joy of having three sits just for me and my ass.
First of all, no single monitor, just few ill-positioned screens, and second, the selection. Mr. Delta, how can you provide on your fleet a film like "Honeymooners" as the main eventer?
C'mon! And then Fantastic Four. Again? This is the same film I watched on my way to and back last month!
Ok, maybe you want people to fall asleep bored by the horrid movies so they won't be able to order the food and drink the precious free water (because, unlike BA, you Mr. Delta CHARGE 5 DOLLARS FOR EACH DRINK! On BA drinks are free! Shame on you Mr. Delta. O miss Delta?). Very clever.

Cincinnati AirportAfter completing my first 30 minutes routine (find a nice position, go to the toilet for my ascensional poo and come back just in time to enjoy my first free drink - water) I started reading American Gods, a book written by that genius called Neil Gaiman.
700 pages: started in London, ended in Cincinnati.
FogOh yeah, 7 hours to read the whole book. I didn't do anything else. You should all read it. Well, at least you guys and girls who want to have an interesting story about America and Gods.
Many gods. Some sexy goddess too. It's a fantasy by the way.

One great truth is revealed in the book, at the end, in the interview to the author: the biggest difference between England and America?
England has history, while America has geography. And cheap strip clubs (but this is another story).

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